Bear the Colors Proud

Two nights ago, I sat down after work and household chores to talk to Ange about the changes in her spiritual path. While her path is not for me to share, she did ask if I had any recommendations for a playlist she was creating about death. So, as we talked, I opened up iTunes and began perusing my musical library. And, as I sat there, I began to build my own devotional playlist. Songs that I mulled over began to find themselves in a playlist I labeled “The Maiden and the Queen,” for Persephone.

I haven’t spoken much about Persephone of late. She has been around and lately, as autumn dusts its rosy fingers over the woodland behind my building, I see her more and more, the chthonic queen casting her spell over the land as she descends again to Hades, her mother settling in for her yearly grief. As I sit here, staring out the window, I find myself looking at a particular tree on the horizon. Its leaves have begun to change, but still very green, still vibrant with the life that spring gave it many months ago. Here and there, its branches are dotted with red, like the seeds of a pomegranate spilled across a verdant table.

She has been here, and as I sink into the meditative state that marks my year from the autumnal equinox to the final days of October, I find myself mulling on the reasons she is here again.

Shadow work was something that came to my attention about the same time I started seeing signs of Persephone Kore. Mentions and hints here and there. I began discussing it with people and remembering my classic literature class at university where we discussed the Jungian archetypes. The Shadow, of the seven, had stuck out to me, much like the Trickster archetype. And as I learned more about shadow work, I began to realize why Persephone was here, in my life, at this time.

I’ve mentioned before that I’m in therapy. During the beginning, I mentioned to my therapist that I wanted to discuss my religion and spirituality. I sent her a document that I had written, a very basic primer to my beliefs, and we discussed it. Within the text, I mentioned the deities that I work with or have worked with and, of them, my therapist mentioned Persephone. Not surprising, considering she is from Cypress. Looking back now, I have to laugh, since my inclination is that Persephone is here to assist me with shadow work, something my therapy is doing on a more scientific level.

Spiritually, I have felt like I’m floating lately. Partly that is due to my job making me so busy of late. I’ve been a dog walker for nearly a month now and barely written here at all. Writing at this blog is important to me; it helps me keep track of my spiritual thoughts and growth, from one point to another. Getting my thoughts out here helps me keep track and helps keep me sane.

Next week, I take my first small vacation from work. From October 16 through the 20th, I am free to do as I wish, barring my Wednesday therapy session. I have plans for that weekend, since Halloween is coming, the most sacred day of the year to me. Likely, I will be taking it and November 1 off, for religious reasons, too. But, on Wednesday, I will be planning on working with Persephone some, with doing another round of shadow work (though I’ve been quiet about it, that isn’t to say I haven’t been doing it, after all) and my therapy session.That Saturday, I hope to finally celebrate a holiday for Anubis, one of my own creation, and give thanks to him. But Persephone has taken the reins of late, with her hints and nudges, just like she did six or so months ago. And, though I bent the knee, it is time to bear her colors and bow my head.

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3 Responses to Bear the Colors Proud

  1. livingnexus says:

    I’ve been doing some investigating into shadow energy lately, and how our shadow self is the part of us that uses pain and hardship to teach us lessons we need to learn. There seem to be a lot of differing opinions on Shadow. What has your experience with it been like?

    • For me, the Shadow is like our reflections in a mirror. Depending on the mirror, our image can be distorted or changed if the mirror changes. But it will always reflect your own image to you and you always have to face that image when you look in the mirror. It will show you your flaws when you get close to it, show the bags beneath your eyes from lack of sleep and the stains on your teeth from all those times you forget to brush and downed a soda on your way to work. And though you can dab on makeup and keep your mouth closed all day, all you’re really doing is wearing a mask to hide those flaws. The Shadow and how we often deal with it, reflexively, is to do exactly that: to hide the flaws of our Shadow self.

      But we always have to face the mirror; every day, if we have one in our bathroom the size of the wall, like I do. (Not by choice, mind you.) The Shadow is always there, waiting for us to acknowledge it and to better ourselves. It will force you to face your flaws again and again until you accept them or work to fix them, however it is you decide.

  2. livingnexus says:

    Your experience closely mirrors mine. When I first started channeling shadow energy, it was like a great black hole had opened up inside of me, causing this great sucking feeling in my chest that promised to carry me out past the edge of the universe and into Nothing. That black hole became a dark star that burned cold, and acquainted me with all the little aches and pains I reflexively push down out of my waking consciousness. I started noticing accumulations of wasted energy all around my body around those aches, and as I attempted to draw that energy back into that dark star from which it seemed to have emanated, those aches seemed to be soothed. Since then the feeling of expanse and emptiness when I channel the shadow has gone, to be replaced by a steady, shadowy black fire.

    I find my shadow self to be pushy, insistent, snarky, and opportunistic. He is definitely an imminently masculine force. Just thinking about it as I write this causes me to feel those black flames on my skin, even though I’m consciously visualizing being connected to the Light. However, I find that my shadow self has been most helpful and useful in those times when we both focus our attention together on something. I am finally learning to listen to him, and at times have heard him very clearly, usually arguing with my superego (or “higher self” I guess), while coming out of a dream state.

    My shadow self, I feel, is the one who guides my hands when I shuffle my tarot cards. He is the personality of my subconscious mind. He takes my thoughts and ideas into his dark workshop and forges new tools and weapons for me from them. It is in his best interest to do so, after all. The more attention I pay to him, the more I bring him into my life, the more I am able to use those tools.

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