Writing this is difficult.
Back on July 1, I opted to write a bit on my relationship with Loki. My work with him has basically been offerings now and then of incense and my words, but that’s about it.
July was meant to be about Loki but it got me thinking about my relationships with Odin and Thor as well. And I think it might be time to take a step back and reevaluate those relationships.
My work with Odin has been mostly writing, both devotional and fiction, since he first came around. Why that was, his arrival in my life, I still don’t know, but he came ’round and for awhile we worked together.
Thor and I had a relationship partly out of spite, retribution, honor, and duty. About a year ago, I bought a bobble head of Marvel’s Thor and placed it on my altar to represent the Norse thunder god. For a few years prior, he and I had been on tenuous terms. I kept making references that he didn’t like, only to be granted a thunderstorm in my area – even when one was not on the forecast. I finally broke down and bought him the doll to appease him and apologize, but even so I could not help getting in another small jab at him. So I bought the bobble, cleansed it, and places in on my altar for a year.
I think, though, that it might be time to step away from the Norse pantheon.
Heathenism has only ever had some appeal to me, nothing like the draw I’ve felt to Hellenic practice, Kemeticism, nor even Celtic reconstruction. Have I felt drawn in some way? Yes, of course. If I had not, I never would have looked towards these relationships with the Norse gods. But over the last five weeks, I have mulled on my work with them, my feelings towards them, and whether or not it is time to say goodbye.
For awhile, I have begun to feel bogged down by my deity relationships. Anubis has always taken precedence, but the other gods I have in my life have been falling to the wayside in my practice. I feel I’ve been unfair to them. And as I’ve begun to reevaluate this path of mine with my walk towards the desert, I begin to wonder what needs to be stripped away to leave something more manageable.
Of course, I still owe Odin and Thor a lot. Forgetting them entirely after everything they have done for me would be rude, especially after the oath I made awhile back. But a redefinition of the terms may be in order, between these Northern gods and me. A new relationship formed, new words spoken. It may be time to release the Northern snow and winter and pursue other climes.
For now, at least.