Weeks ago, I began to think about how to do more devotionals to my gods and spirits. I wanted something with a little more personalization and oomph than what I had been doing: lighting one main candle for all the gods, lighting a stick of incense, and offering the flame, smoke, and my own breath.
So I decided that I would dedicate one day of the week to one of my gods with Sunday being for the spirits I work with and the local land spirits. I would get a seven-day candle for each god and then one for the spirits. Each day I would light the corresponding candle, offer a short prayer, and then proceed with my main devotionals before putting out both the main candle and the day candle.
Easier said than done.
Some days, I forget to do my devotionals. I forget to walk to the far side of the bedroom and light the flames in offering to my gods. Part of this is because of my shoddy memory. Part of it is because it just seems so…complicated. And my working space is so far away from the rest of the apartment, tucked along the back wall of the bedroom. It got too complicated too fast, and the seven-day candles were not as Much as I wanted them to be. They weren’t accurate for what I had originally intended, but I bought them anyway, thinking it was better to have something than nothing.
I think it was because of these candles that I ended up wanting to strip my practice down to the bare essentials. It just seemed like I was placing too much emphasis on the physical there than doing what it was I should be doing: focusing energy toward the gods and spirits.
When I was younger, I would talk a lot. I still do, but I would talk to anything I could, including a squirrel statue in the garden center of my local grocery store and a fish I had drawn on the wall behind my bookcase; tricksy little child I was, I made sure to hide it from my mother. (She didn’t find out for months until one day she caught me, having overheard me chattering to the fish late at night.) Often, this is what I do with my gods and spirits. Or, at least, it was.
In recent months, I’ve gone back to thinking a lot. Winter tends to do that for me, but it’s was in part because I was sick or couldn’t talk at various times, too. I felt lethargic and even talking was annoying to me. I think that is what I need to go back to, though. Chattering at my gods, and giving them my energy and devotion through Words; writing here is, I think, also helping, as I think and write on my experiences and work with the gods and spirits around me.